


Sounds of Silence

by FortunesRevolver



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Genre: It's more like Judai's own fears and bad thoughts in Haou's form maybe?, Kinda sorta on Haou anyway., M/M, Not Beta Read Oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 18:31:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16124294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FortunesRevolver/pseuds/FortunesRevolver
Summary: This time, it’s Edo who is gone, and for the first week, Judai is okay. It’s true that the bed is a little colder and almost missing the scoldings he doesn’t get in the morning for hogging all the covers. He’s only made two cups of coffee on accident after he stumbled into the kitchen twice, and for the most part, he’s relied on take-out rather than putting effort into making meals. Cooking for just himself was never fun anyway.





	Sounds of Silence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moonlights0nata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlights0nata/gifts).



> ~~Not beta read, tonight we die like men.~~

Fame, Judai thinks, is a double-edged sword. It pays the bills, keeps food in the kitchen, and tends to general needs and happiness. But it also demands a great deal of travel and putting themselves on display for duelists both new and old, thousands of eyes gazing up at them filled with admiration and endless expectations and dreams. 

It’s hard sometimes, he knows, especially when he has a much more sociable personality than Edo does and it’s easier for Judai to thrive in a crowd. Edo is much better in a professional setting -- interviews and tournaments where he stands away from the masses but still gives them a show of the heroes who carry their dreams.

Extended stays away from their shared apartment aren’t unusual for either of them, and for the most part, they’ve adjusted to it. Being alone is never fun, but early morning and late night phone calls during down times carry them through until they’re able to reunite again.

This time, it’s Edo who is gone, and for the first week, Judai is okay. It’s true that the bed is a little colder and  _ almost _ missing the scoldings he doesn’t get in the morning for hogging all the covers. He’s only made two cups of coffee on accident after he stumbled into the kitchen twice, and for the most part, he’s relied on take-out rather than putting effort into making meals. Cooking for just himself was never fun anyway.

The TV or radio left on in the background as he goes about his daily tasks are enough to try and stifle the silence that surrounds him. It’s  _ different _ than the quiet he’s used to with Edo. Edo’s quiet is calm and assuring; his gentle presence accented by murmurs as he bends over his deck scattered across the coffee table or the turning of novel pages. He might not be the chatterbox Judai knows he can be, but he makes himself known through gestures and touches that became more and more frequent as their relationship blossomed. 

It’s a fact Judai absolutely  _ relishes _ in and has absolutely no qualms in burying himself in his boyfriend’s side or using his lap as a seat over the couch or chairs. Even when their friends are around. 

(And no, he’s not  _ mushy and gross _ he is just  _ very happy _ and  _ in love _ and his boyfriend is  _ cute _ when his cheeks are red.)

But sometimes… sometimes the silence of being alone presses in closer than Judai can ignore. It looms over him in every room and follows his every step. It doesn’t matter how loud the television is or how many video games he tries to bury himself in or where he goes outside the apartment. It’s always there, waiting for him to return, and claws at his very being.

On those days, he can only try his best. He puts on a smile and marches through his day and tries to trick himself into believing nothing is wrong. He talks to the people around him and makes sure all the chores are done. As long as he keeps busy, he’s  _ mostly _ okay.

At least, until he goes to bed.

The silence refuses to leave him alone then.

It doesn’t matter how tightly he clutches Edo’s pillow or tries to replay their conversation from an hour ago in his mind. The silence lets his demons catch up with him and as soon as sleep finally takes his exhausted body into its grasp, they attack.

Tonight is one of the worst he’s had in a long time.

It starts off normal enough; innocent with no meaning behind it. He’s sitting in the living room, watching a replay of a tournament they’ve just come home from with only half-focused interest. Edo is sitting beside him reading a book and neither of them are talking. He stands and says something about getting a drink, but by the time he reaches the kitchen, everything has changed.

Darkness swirls around him, thick like a smoke and presses in against his sides, cold and chilling. He cries out in alarm and shouts for help, but his voice is swallowed into the voice. A laugh sounds back at him, cold, high-pitched, and piercing as he tries to run back to where he  _ was _ but his body won’t move. 

Eyes of gold appear in the fog, a face following soon after and it’s like looking in a mirror.

A terrifying,  _ horrible _ mirror.

“No…” he shakes his head and tries to take a step back, but he still can’t move. Everything is pressing in too close and he doesn’t know what to  _ do. _ This power is supposed to be  _ gone. _ It’s not supposed to be like this anymore. He’d fought and fought and overcome the darkness and carved his own path.

The face -- his face -- twists into a grin, eyes filled with malice as he watches himself --  _ no _ , not him, not anymore, that’s  _ not _ him anymore! -- move through the darkness as easy as one does air. As he -- they -- move closer to the couch, the darkness seems to fade with them and they approach the couch. Edo looks up and greets them with a smile and Judai tries to call out, to warn him and  _ stop _ this, but his voice is as useless as his body.

The  _ not- _ him motions for Edo to stand and dips down to press a kiss to Edo’s cheek. Judai tries to cry out again, but it doesn’t work. Edo seems delighted, but his happy expression twisted into shock, then pain, and finally a grimace as he stumbles backward, holding his abdomen. Judai can see crimson blossoming against his crisp white dress shirt and he cries out, terrified. The other Judai laughs, raising a clawed hand to examine the red cripping down dark, pointed nails. Edo is moving away, darting toward the door, but the Judai follows, laughing as they take a slash at Edo’s back.

Edo cries out in pain and Judai yells in turn, fighting against the firm grasp of nothingness that refuses to let him go.

“No! Stop! Don’t…!”

Edo can’t hear him. He doesn’t turn toward Judai’s voice. Instead, he looks up at the fake Judai and asks in a soft voice, “Why?”

“Don’t touch him!”

Judai, the other Judai, turns, eyes still glowing with malice as they stare the real Judai in the eyes and smirk. They raise their hand again and Judai shouts, anything and everything, something to distract them, something to  _ stop _ them, but they don’t  _ listen _ and Edo doesn’t run. He can’t run.

A wet  _ splat _ fills Judai’s ears as the claws make another arc through the air and Judai tastes bile. Red hits the walls and Edo can only gurgle as he tries to crawl backwards, but it’s useless. There’s no hope, no escape, no  _ anything. _

“J-Juda...i…”

“Edo!”

The other Judai laughs again and thrusts his hand forward, directly into Edo’s chest, and blue orbs grow dull. Blood slowly drips from the corners of his mouth as his body goes limp. The sound of bones braking makes Judai shudder, but he can’t cry. Everything hurts so bad, but he can only watch as his own reflection tugs backward and peers down at something covered in blood and  _ meaty _ in his hand.

“Look at that,” the other Judai says and turns with a grin. “His heart is all  _ mine. _ ”

Judai  _ screams _ \--

\--and that’s how he wakes.

He shoots up as his chest heaves and he gasps for air. The darkness of the room only sets off his fears further and he dives for the bedside lamp, choking when it turns on. His entire body is chilled to the bone and trembling as he kicks and flails wildly until he’s free from the covers and nearly tumbles to the floor. His hair is glued to his cheeks and forehead, damp with sweat and, as he feels something cold fall to his hand, he realises  _ tears. _

He looks to the side of the bed and feels his heart plummet. The other side of the bed is empty and suddenly he doesn’t know what to  _ do. _ The clock on the far side of the room reads  _ 3:36am _ and he  _ knows _ it’s too late to be doing anything, but his body seems to be moving on auto-pilot.

It’s not until he manages to miss the proper contact name  _ three times _ that he realises just how badly he’s shaking. His fingers finally hit the mark and he holds his phone to his ear.

_ “Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. The number you have--” _

Judai inhales sharply and the tears only seem to double. He hates it. He hates how absolutely ridiculous and weak he feels right now, but he  _ needs _ to know. He has to hear his voice.

_ “Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. The number--” _

“D-dammit…!” Judai cries out and slams a fist down on the bed. Rational thought isn’t his friend right now and he tries a third time, silently  _ begging _ for someone,  _ something _ to take pity on me.

_ “Beep. Beep. Beep. …’llo?” _ The voice that comes through the phone is weighed down heavily with sleep. “Jud…? Whuz…?”

“E-Edo…” Judai winces at the wet, broken tone of his voice and how raw the words feel against his throat. 

A brief pause follows before Judai hears something click far away and a much more awake voice follows. “Judai? What’s wrong?”

“I…” He’s had nightmares before; he’s handled them just fine too. He knows how to be alone and be okay, but this… this… He feels foolish and stupid, but the memories of hurting those most precious to him still dance at the edges of his mind. Sometimes they get too close. “I…”

_ “Are you at home?” _ Edo asks, and his voice is warm, but firm. It’s enough to help hold Judai’s focus.

“Y-yeah.”

_ “In bed?” _

“Mm…”

_ “Is the light on?” _

“Yeah…”

_ “Okay.” _ Another pause follows and Judai can hear the rustle of fabric as Edo moves.  _ “Was it…  another nightmare?” _

Judai doesn’t answer. He shuts his eyes and tries to breath, but the image of Edo with a gaping hole in his chest fills his mind and they snap open again and he chokes.

_ “Judai…” _ Edo’s voice softens.  _ “It’s going to be alright -- do you remember the breathing exercise we practice?” _

“I… y-yeah.”

_ “Good. I’ll count; just focus on breathing.” _

And so he does. Slow and careful. Up to three and down. He repeats the process until Judai can feel the tightness in his chest lessen to a point where he no longer feels he’s struggling to take in air.

“Edo…”

_ “Hey,” _ Edo responds and Judai can almost see his smile.  _ “I’m here.” _

“Right,” Judai nods. He doesn’t care he can’t be seen. “I… I know, but you were…”

_ “Do you want to talk about it?” _

He doesn’t. He really doesn’t. But he also needs to tell someone or the thoughts will stay in his mind and mess with him again. 

Some part of him, the part of him that has thoughts he can usually keep away and fight against, hopes the truth might scare Edo away. Protect him from… from…

“I hurt you,” Judai starts and it’s as good as beginning as anyway. The details come slow, but Edo is patient and doesn’t push, letting the words come naturally as Judai is able to offer them.

“And… I--he said… your heart was his.”

_ “I see…” _ Edo is silent and Judai can’t blame him. Most people aren’t awoken in the early hours to be told of their own demise. He wouldn’t know what to say either -- but he doesn’t expect what comes next.  _ “Would you like to see my hotel room?” _

Judai blinks. “Wh--huh?”

_ “My hotel room,” _ Edo repeats.  _ “There’s WiFi here, a video call wouldn’t be hard.” _

Judai hesitates. He doesn’t want Edo to see his face like this, but he wants to see Edo’s face  _ more _ and he agrees.

If Edo noticed the red, swollen appearance of his eyes when their screens come to life, he doesn’t comment. Instead, he holds the camera at an angle so both he and parts of the room can be seen and Judai is taken on a tour. From the bed -- a single, Judai notes, and Edo comments he doesn’t need anything larger when Judai isn’t there to share it -- to the bathroom and even outside to the small balcony.

“The view is amazing…” Judai whispers and feels himself start to calm.

_ “It’s nice,”  _ Edo concedes and looks into the camera.  _ “But I like the one in front of me better.” _

His grin works like a charm and Judai feels his cheeks warm as he’s caught off guard. “That’s… that’s cheesy,” he huffs, but feels himself start to smile. “You’re so… cheesy.”

_ “I learned from the best.” _

“I’m not  _ that _ bad.” Judai pouts, and the sceptical, but fond look Edo gives him makes his chest feel a little lighter. “...I miss you.”

_ “I miss you too,” _ Edo doesn’t even hesitate and he turns the camera to show the skyline.  _ “I’ll be home soon. Things are almost finished here.” _

“I know.” Judai has he day and time marked on the calendar on the fridge. He’s been marking off the days. “I’ll be alright.”

They continue to talk in soft voices, their conversation continuing until the lulls in speech are punctuated by yawns and mumbles that make no sense.

_ “You should get back to sleep,” _ Edo comments and Judai feels himself tense. 

“I--”

_ “Keep the call going. I won’t hang up either. If you need to see me, just look at your screen.” _

Judai exhales and nods. Edo is too kind, too patient with him, but he’s grateful. It’s rare that his darker memories drag him down this far, but Edo has never let him fall far.

“...okay.”

They settle and turn off their lights. It makes it hard to see, but the glow of their screens is just enough to illuminate the outline of their forms.

“...’night, Edo.”

_ “Goodnight, Judai,” _ Edo smiles and his hand moves from his face toward the screen.  _ “I love you.” _

“...Love you.”

* * *

Two days later, the door opens and Judai vaults over the sofa in his rush to get to the doorway. Edo drops his suitcase, arms open and waiting as Judai throws himself into them.

“Hey…” Judai murmurs and bends, pressing his face to Edo’s chest.

“Hey,” Edo hums and wraps an arm around Judai’s shoulders and uses his free hand to card his fingers through the soft, fluffy mess of hair Judai insists is a ‘cool haircut.’

The silence that settles around them is warm and comfortable, it’s  _ familiar,  _ and as Judai presses himself closer and exhales, he can hear the strong, steady thump of Edo’s heart against his ear.

“...welcome home.”

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic is pretty much all Moon's fault. I blame moon completely.
> 
> We talked about these two and instead of writing them something happy and cute I wrote this. Oops.
> 
> ~~I haven't watched this series properly in like ten years. So apologies for any character fails.~~


End file.
